Too much to not enough….


So I have too much. I own too much, I want too much, I think I need too much. Its true, its just a fact. But at the same time I don’t have enough. Its a brilliant dichotomy, and drives me insane.

You see, I will start with the too much. I have stuff. Furniture, appliances, electronics, etc… Some of it is in storage because with my current living situation I do not need everything I have.

(good time to note, I am selling some stuff if you live in Lawrence/KC/Topeka hit me up.)

But really, I have a lot. I get told I don’t, but that is because people compare me to themselves. They have more. In fact, but the standards of those around me I am poor.

But then in the midst of this, I am a missionary. I travel all over the world. I spent most of August in India and Nepal. I have been in many countries over the last few years preaching the Glorious Gospel of Messiah Yeshua.

When I am in a foreign country, I am reminded that as ‘poor’ as I am I am stupid rich. If I go to a chinese buffet, I eat more than I should, and what I pay for it is what most Nepali’s spend for a week of food. The price of a Mickey D’s value meal can buy lunch for four at a top restaurant in Kathmandu.

I am stupid rich. I say stupid rich because I am both stupid and rich. Stupid because I do not realize how rich I am. I have what I need, I have what I don’t need. I survive, and I do it well. It may be 100 degrees outside, but I don’t know it because my air conditioner keeps it 72 inside. I know that if I do not change the setting it will be 72 for quite sometime because I have electricity. All day, every day.

When you do missions work in a foreign country you begin to realize what you have and how good it really is. I might complain about the american government, but at least we have one. I might be upset cause there are a few minor potholes, but at least the street has pavement. I might get frustrated because I pay sales taxes, but at least its only 9 percent instead of 220 percent import tax becuase they don’t make enough goods in my town.

I have it good, and I can make it good for others by sharing the good I have. Over the course of this summer I have begun sharing the little I have with those around me. sometimes its simple things like sharing a meal, sometimes its making sure they have enough gas in the tank to do what they need. Sometimes, its leaving an offering at a church that isn’t much to me, but could mean a new floor that they don’t have to save all year for.

It’s amazing what I can do with the little I have. I have done more with the little I have than a lot of the people I know have done with all that they have. I mean I have found ways to raise money and garner support. I have taken the message of the Gospel all over America and the rest of the World.

But at the same time I do not have enough. There are too many people who need my help. Too many nations crying out for the gospel, crying out for the words of the Bible. There are offers from churches, pastors, and ministries all over the world who want us to come to them and help them, and teach them. It breaks my heart to see what needs to be done and then look at the resources in my hands. There is such a need and it seems insurmountable to me at times.

But then I remember something…

  • “Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him.” Mark 11:23 NASB

My God has equipped me to do His will. He always provides for the work he wants done. ALWAYS!! Never once have I had to cancel a missions trip because the provision wasn’t there. Sometimes it comes down to the last second of the last minute of the last hour. God always supplies, and I am learning to rest in Him more and more. I need lots of help to do all that God has called me to do. It takes thousands of dollars to finish the works God has us doing around the world, and I don’t have any of it. But God isn’t looking at me and what I have.

When God met Moses in the fiery bush, all moses had was a stick. When David needed to take down a giant, all he had was a sling and some stones fished out of the river. But It was enough, because God was behind them. I know that God is behind me. I praise God that I am being used.  I might not have much, but I have two little words that make all the difference. “YES LORD!”

This isn’t so much of a thought provoking kind of article, its more of the kind of thing that shows me working out the Christian life. Walking out Justice, and pouring my heart on paper. Sometimes its good just to throw out all of the things in your heart and let the spill over onto the digital paper.


About matreames

I am a Man on a Mission, A Missionary. I worship, I Love the Word, and I love the Glorious Gospel. How can I help you pursue Christ more?

Posted on August 30, 2012, in Faith, Missions, Religion. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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